He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
