I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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