If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
