i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
