Texts From Last Night

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  (719): View more from Colorado

  wanna go halves on a baby?

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  (719): wanna go halves on a baby? http://tfl.nu/z3oe
  Replies (18) Good night (1135) Bad night (907)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.

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  (724): He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death. http://tfl.nu/mm9y
  Replies (15) Good night (559) Bad night (2478)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.

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  (540): i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it. http://tfl.nu/oanm
  Replies (10) Good night (855) Bad night (2962)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  38 yer olds are good kisserssss

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  (713): 38 yer olds are good kisserssss http://tfl.nu/i4pg
  Replies (55) Good night (1549) Bad night (2616)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.

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  (505): I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them. http://tfl.nu/0g2b
  Replies (42) Good night (1114) Bad night (2362)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...

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  (404): Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it... http://tfl.nu/ne4c
  Replies (10) Good night (4563) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.

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  (586): We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds. http://tfl.nu/hj47
  Replies (9) Good night (1800) Bad night (1183)
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  (805): View more from California

  You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?

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  (805): You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina? http://tfl.nu/lipw
  Replies (9) Good night (2717) Bad night (835)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.

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  (307): I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome. http://tfl.nu/fygk
  Replies (4) Good night (515) Bad night (1863)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.

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  (814): My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible. http://tfl.nu/fwco
  Replies (3) Good night (885) Bad night (1368)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership

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  (256): I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership http://tfl.nu/f2mt
  Replies (7) Good night (949) Bad night (440)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.

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  (615): She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light. http://tfl.nu/1kuc
  Replies (8) Good night (1581) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.

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  (216): I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm. http://tfl.nu/ibg7
  Replies (4) Good night (187) Bad night (523)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  & I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley

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  (317): & I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley http://tfl.nu/1on6
  Replies (2) Good night (366) Bad night (213)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  She won. Twice.

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  (519): Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition. (1-519): She won. Twice. http://tfl.nu/gb3x
  Replies (3) Good night (646) Bad night (257)

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