So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode