Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
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female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?