I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
