i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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