Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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