Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
