I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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