I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
My penis needs a shock collar
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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