she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
