The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
