I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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