i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
