Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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