So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Randomize
