I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
