I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
