K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
