shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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