and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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