She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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