I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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