the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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