I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
