Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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