I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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