You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I love you.
Bad choice
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Btw I puked in your glovebox
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
