The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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