at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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