The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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