You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
