ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she told me i tasted like america
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
