Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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