: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
