Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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