So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
