This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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