I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
