A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
