oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
