my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
