I don't think brook has ever known best
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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