member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
