I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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