Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
