If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
