Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
