I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
