As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
