You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
