A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
