Non-Jews are for practice
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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