i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
