Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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