So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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