Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
