I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Fuck me I smell like cheese
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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