What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
