Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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