Pappa wants mamma naked
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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