How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
