Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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